Suh-Tweet: Twitter is Officially Stupid

 

Suh-Tweet is a new word that I invented today. It is a play on the word “sweet”. Say it everybody: Suh-tweet. Kinda like “so sweet” except instead of sweet we say tweet.

Best of Stupid is officially on Twitter. That’s right folks, you are free to stalk our latest updates here. For you Twitter addicts out there, that’s kind of suh-tweet.

For those of you who don’t know what the heck Twitter is, consider yourself blessed, as you still have the opportunity to save yourself from being sucked into a time killing pointless vacuum. You should stop reading this post and hide under a rock as fast as you can if you are not on Twitter. SAVE YOURSELF.

You can officially declare something as stupid when you are sitting in the waiting room somewhere stuck watching some mainstream news channel and instead of reporting the news, the news anchors instead are talking for 30 minutes about Twitter and who they are following. Apparently knowing that someone we don’t know spilled coffee all over herself this morning is WAY more important than things like health care or world poverty.

It is also annoying that everytime you visit their page they ask you “What are You Doing?”

There’s a lot of good smart ass answers to that question:

Why do you care?

You really want to know? Yeah, you don’t really want to know.

Mind your own f$%#%# business.

I am sitting here staring at a computer screen trying to think of something to type, what do you think I’m doing?

What are YOU doing?

I am compulsively updating people with mundane details of my life for their pure entertainment.

Then there are a variety of dumb play on words for Twitter apps and the latest “lingo”.

IE: Let’s Have a Tweet Up!

Normal people would say, “Hey, let’s meet up”. But if you meet on Twitter and decide to actually see the person face to face then that’s a Tweet Up. Suh-tweet.

Fortunately, to help you understand this mass confusion of Twitter Lingo, you have theTwittonary, a dictionary for making sense of all these made up words.

Coming along with this also introduces a whole lot of new acronyms I never knew about before. An acronym is when you take the initials of something and give it meaning. For example, BOS could be an acronym for Best of Stupid. You only get 140 characters on Twitter, so you can’t really write anything too long.

Here’s just a few examples of ones I never knew existed:

AMFYOYO : Adios Mofo You’re on your own. Of course, a MOFO is a word I won’t say on here because this is a family friendly site. I don’t have problems with the word MOFO. It’s just not real “family friendly”.

KYSO: Knock Your Socks Off.

And then there are more twitter inspired words like my new word suh-tweet:

BIRD OF MOUTH: Word of mouth, except on Twitter, a little bird tells you everything.

TWABULOUS: Yes honey, it’s not Fab-u-loooousss…It’s TWAB-u-loooouss.

TWANG: As in, let’s all TWANG up on @username and make fun of him. That’s not too nice to TWAUNT people.

I could go on. There are lots of other dumb words people addicted to Twitter are using. Just take anyword that starts with a T and stick a W in front of it.

For Example: Taco could be TWACO. That way, if you are eating a Taco while twittering you can say “twaco-ing.”

And people make fun of how us yinzers talk.

Anyways, Twitter is stupid. It’s a waste of time. Sure, maybe you can get 1 million followers or whatever, but chances are 1 million followers later you won’t really be able to know what anybody is doing. Or worse, none of us will actually be doing anything.

That’s what I think of Twitter anyways. What do you think? Tell me why you love it/hate it below. Or if you’re feeling creative, why not make up some of your own twitter words & share them?